How to Self-Promote -- Without Being Sleazy (Advice for Self-Published Authors)

From Inc. Magazine

Self-promotion is a necessary evil for anyone starting a business. Here's how to do it so you don't seem like you've sold out.

By Tara Hunt |  @missrogue   | Dec 28, 2011

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The biggest obstacle I had to overcome as a first-time start-up founder was the discomfort I felt about brazenly promoting my own business. And I’m not the only one. I’ve talked with quite a few other founders who feel the same. But in a world full of businesses trying to get attention, you need to get the word out there.
Of course it is ideal to have non-related parties evangelizing your product, but there are a plethora of great products launched daily and few of them break through the noise. Many products well-established today spent much of their early days tooting their own horn.
First of all, I understand why many people find self-promotion difficult:

1. It feels skeevy. Nobody likes a braggart. I was told as a young girl, “Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.”
2. You’ll lose followers. Related to the first point, many people find self-promotion to be in bad taste.
3. It seems unauthentic. If you’re so great, why isn’t everybody talking about you?

This is deeply rooted in the human psyche. According to Psychology Today, “research has demonstrated that there is a clear trade-off to being seen as more competent and being liked.” Those that sit back and wait for others to speak up for them are seen as less competent. The article also highlights that friends are more likely to feel uncomfortable with your self-promotion than strangers.
But why would your friends be uncomfortable with your success? Alain de Botton says it best in Status Anxiety:

It is the feeling that we might be something other than what we are—a feeling transmitted by the superior achievements of those we take to be our equals—that generates anxiety and resentment.”

When the success of your peers exceeds your own, you naturally compare yourself and feel envy. Of course, it’s not up to you to protect your friends’ feelings—you have a business to build. But when faced with the choice between making accomplishments known or keeping friends, most would feel heartless if they chose to brag a bit. But there are ways to toot your own horn tastefully (and keep your friends):

1. Tell the story of the struggle behind the success. Great! You won an award or got funding or the like. Show how hard you worked and the obstacles you needed to overcome to achieve this milestone. It’ll soften the blow for those who are still in the middle of a struggle.
2. Be excited, but be humbled. It pays to throw an ‘aw shucks’ into a news broadcast. I’ve watched many peers do this brilliantly. “We just launched our beta. It’s really rough, but I’d love your feedback.”
3. Give credit where credit is due. When you are promoting, it helps to acknowledge the support and advice of people you are close with. “If it weren’t for those late-night chats, I would have never gotten through the rough parts.”
4. Enlist the help of your friends to get the word out. Maybe your friends are tired of hearing you talk incessantly about your start-up, but have you ever sat down with them to get them on board? Asking for help shows your friends that you need them.

Whether you are announcing a milestone achieved or just trying to get the word out about your product, it is your job to promote your company in the early days. Make sure you do it well.

Ingredients of a Revolution

 

Take decades to centuries of autocratic rule by an individual, family, political party or religious group.

Add suppression of political dissent

Mix with unemployment levels ranging from 15-70%

Turn up the heat even the slightest bit, and you have the political, social and economic circumstances that make a country ripe for revolution.

It happened in Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Yemen and Libya, and led to the Arab Spring we all witnessed. Journalists have started to take note of the conditions that prime a country for revolt -- basically, when life gets cheap enough that deciding to risk or sacrifice one's life becomes a reasonable choice -- and have begun discussing which country will be next: Angola? Morocco? Jordan? Why don't the dictators ever notice (although Syria's Assad certainly seems to be aware, though he's raising rather than lowering the temperature) that they've created the elements of the perfect storm?

Meanwhile, the U.S. makes the mistake of moving in to help countries become 'democratic' when what we really need to do is let these countries overthrow their own dictators by themselves, and provide economic support for the rebuilding rather than the destruction. As Simon Winchester pointed out in Krakatoa, after the volcano destroyed much of Indonesia, it was the Muslims who came in to help the population rebuild. And what country has the largest Muslim population in the world? I'm just saying.

The Wisdom of a Teenager with Cancer

This morning, I went for my annual exam at Scripps Clinic, and while I was having my blood drawn to check my cholesterol, I turned my head away from the needle to read a poem that was posted on the wall. It was written by a teenager with cancer.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading light?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask 'how are you?' do you hear a reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child 'we'll do it tomorrow'?

And in your haste not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die, cause you never had time to call up and say 'Hi'

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race,

Do take it slower.

Hear the music,

Before the song is over.

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, JESSE!

He had to be forced out of the womb and into the world, and for much of his life I didn't think Jesse would ever want to leave home. As a young teen, he had planned to attend UCSD for college, live at home, skateboard to school and come home for lunch every day.

Then music took over, and he couldn't help but fulfill fans wishes to have the band, Witt, tour internationally. He started planning the tour when he was 17 (but his bandmates' moms didn't let their sons travel at that age; not that he asked our permission -- he just told us what he had planned). It was another year before they could go, but for 3 weeks over the winter of 2010-2011, Jesse, Henry & Evan took Witt on the road, touring throughout Germany (where they're progressive in their musical tastes, surprising considering they like David Hasselhoff and are now planning a Rocky musical), Poland, France, the Czech Republic, Italy, Switzerland and maybe a few other countries, too. Once Jesse came back (and he had booked all the venues, coordinated publicity, figured out how they were going to get from one venue to another -- each was a 4-5 hour drive away from the previous one), he expressed his desire to live in Germany for 6 months. And in January he's going to Kenya to teach music (but that'll be the subject of another post).

For now, enjoy this slide show of photos of my little boy, from birth to age 21, a little boys whose birth had to be induced because he was late and his father couldn't stick around indefinitely, but once he found his legs, he hasn't stopped running....

He is one amazing dude